Help!

When I was a young mother (especially when I had 3 kids ages 2 and under), I considered myself to be very much responsible for, and even in control of, my children. Not that I felt that I was doing a wonderful job as a mother- actually, I spent a lot of my time frustrated and somewhat depressed that I was "ruining" my kids because of my own failings.

Gradually, as I had more children, more experience, and more years under my belt, I started to realize something: although I do have influence on my children, I have very little control. Also, I am coming to recognize and be very grateful that I am not solely responsible for how my children turn out.

The first thing I have learned is that my children have their own personalities, desires, motivations and talents. That may seem obvious, but it is something I have struggled with. Rebekah, especially, reminds me of myself, and I tend to take her shortcomings very personally. It is helping me to realize that even though I have influence, and I am trying hard to teach and be a good example, my children are ultimately responsible for their own decisions and for their own lives.

The other important thing I am learning, especially as the kids get older, is that I am not the only person who can influence them for good. They have a wonderful father, grandparents, other family members, each other, school teachers and coaches, and church youth leaders.

I am quickly coming to realize that the kids' scout and young women leaders are EXTREMELY important, especially as we approach the teenage years. Last weekend was a great example. Friday night, Price and Josh had an 11-year old scout campout in their leader's backyard. They have amazing leaders who have immersed them in the scout program already (it has only been 2 months since they turned 11), and who are willing to spend lots of time with a bunch of pre-teen boys. This is amazing to me, since I sometimes think I'm drowning with just two of them. Price and Josh came back from their campout excited and exhausted, and slightly freezing. I am so grateful that they have good men to be role models and teachers in their lives.

Saturday night, Mom and I accompanied Rebekah to the Conference Center in Salt Lake for the Young Women's General Broadcast. Quite a few girls and moms from the ward drove up, and spent a couple of hours listening to the prophet and the General Young Women's leaders give them counsel and help negotiating these hard years. I am very thankful for the YW program, and I especially love her ward YW leaders. They are so patient, concerned and loving with the girls, and are working their hardest to help the girls make good choices and feel good about themselves.

Inside the conference center- looking up to the stand.

Just trying to show the enormity of the room- we were just to the right of center, so this picture really only shows half of the room. It's huge!

See what great help I have? I haven't even mentioned the most important influence on my children: their Heavenly Father. They were His children before they were mine, and I know that He loves them and is watching out for them. I cannot orchestrate the events and decisions in my children's lives to give them the testimony that they need to have, but Heavenly Father can put people, places and situations into their lives that will guide them that direction.

I am so, so thankful that I am not doing this alone. I have great hope for my children- they are wonderful. I just need to do a better job of showing them that I think that. I just need to love them.