In the spring of 1997, our family was happy and content. Tim and I had been married just over 2 years, we had beautiful Rebekah, who was just turning one, and Tim was about to graduate from BYU (finally!) and was looking for a teaching job. We were starting to think about another baby... September (after we were settled in a new place) sounded like a good time to start trying for #2. Things happened a little faster than we had planned. It was May, and I was pregnant. We figured it was just meant to be, and I made a doctor's appointment.
There was a little hitch with insurance, since we were without for the summer. We figured that we would have insurance again before the baby was born, assuming that Tim found a job, but when I went in for my first appointment I was uninsured. The doctor's office was willing to work with us- and they decided, since I was supposedly paying for this myself, that I didn't need an ultrasound. They said that, since I had already carried one baby to term without complications, I was low-risk. My due date was February 6, 1998.
My pregnancy was normal and uneventful. We moved to Manila when I was three months along, and the doctor even told me that I could go 6 weeks between visits, since we lived so far away. I was pretty tired towards the end- I took naps when Rebekah did, and needed more. Other than that, though, I was great. We had tried to choose a boy and a girl name, since we hadn't had that ultrasound, but we could only agree on two boy names. We decided to use Price, and to save Joshua for the next time. I was pretty sure I was having a boy.
This is the only picture I could find that accurately represents those last few miserable weeks- this was at Christmas, approximately 6 weeks before the boys were born.
When I was 38 weeks, I moved into my parent's house to be closer to the doctor in Provo. Actually, since Rebekah had been born 10 days early, I was thinking that should happen this time, too! I was hoping to be in Pleasant Grove for a few days, and then come home with our new baby. In the meantime, Tim kept working, and did a lot of driving back and forth on weekends. I was a little worried that I would go into labor quickly, while Tim was in Manila, making him miss the birth.
My quick visit to PG didn't materialize. I was getting closer and closer to my due date, and nothing was happening. I was getting amazingly big, though- my mom had given birth to a huge baby boy, and I figured I was about to do the same. On Tuesday, Feb. 3rd, I was up at night with some fairly heavy, but still irregular, contractions. I called Tim, and he came down. I spent all day Wednesday trying to induce labor. I did everything I could think of, and managed to stimulate some fairly regular contractions that evening, so we hurried to the hospital. I was hoping to be admitted and induced, since I was so close to my due date. The hospital monitored me for a while, and had us walk around the basement halls for half the night, but ultimately sent me home, saying that the head wasn't yet engaged, so the baby just wasn't ready yet. I was pretty devastated, but being sent home with morphine helped dull the disappointment. I slept until lunchtime.
After I woke up, we decided to drive down to see Tim's parents. They had recently moved to Levan, and were living in a small rental house while they built their house. We visited for a couple of hours, and then... oh blessed event... I started to have contractions! Real ones! And they were regular... and getting closer together! Hallelujah! We drove back to Mom and Dad's house, dropped off Rebekah, and headed to the hospital.
The next hours are somewhat of a blur. I was admitted to the hospital, they hooked up a monitor, and we waited. I do remember that the Winter Olympics were happening- we watched it off and on that night. Tim mostly slept in the chair next to my bed, and I dozed in and out. I did eventually ask for an epidural, but I was being noble or something, and waited for a long time. Finally, sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 a.m., it was time to push. My epidural was great by then, so pushing was the fun part. As the baby's head was crowning, the doctor turned to Tim and said, "Just watch- you're going to see that tummy disappear!"
Price was born at 4:37 a.m. on his due date. He looked healthy and good-sized, though nothing close to the 12 pound baby I was expecting. Also, my "tummy" had definitely NOT disappeared. Somewhere, within just a few seconds, it clicked. The doctor clued in about this time, too- he looked at me, and I looked at him, and we both knew: there was another baby in there. He managed to communicate that fact to Tim and to the delivery nurse, who thought he was joking at first. I remember both of their reactions. Tim picked up the phone, intending to call our parents and tell them what was happening. The doctor told him to wait, wanting to make sure of the outcome before an announcement, I'm sure. The nurse ran out of our room, and was back within seconds with what seemed like 10 more nurses. I don't know how many there actually were, but they brought a crash cart with them, not knowing what to expect from this second, unexpected, unmonitored baby.
At this point, I became very, very grateful that my epidural was still in effect. Josh was breech. The doctor had to reach in and help his legs out, then carefully ease each arm down and out. This all seemed to take forever, but Josh was born at 4:46. He didn't cry immediately, and the crash team started working on him. In less than a minute, they had him breathing and pink, and things looked alright. When they weighed both boys, I realized that they really would have been one BIG boy- Price was 7 pounds 8 ounces, and Josh was 6 pounds 8 ounces. 14 pounds of baby altogether.
I honestly don't remember a whole lot about the next hours. I know that Tim finally got to call our parents. When my mom answered the phone, he said, "Are you sitting down?" I remember Tim carrying BOTH babies to the nursery- one in each arm. Both sets of parents (and Rebekah) came to visit. Mostly, though, I was in shock. What had just happened was a little beyond belief.
I'm afraid that that shell-shocked feeling kept me from asking all the questions I should have about the boys. Especially Josh. When he was a few hours old, they took him to the NICU for a "reduction transfusion" that they said sometimes needed to be done with twins- something about too many red blood cells. They offered to let me come down with him, but I sent him off by himself. I still regret this very much. Looking back, I can't believe that I didn't ask more questions or at least come with him, but that shows something of my state of mind at the time. Several years later, when I researched this procedure on the internet, I found that it is mostly done for twins with twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, which doesn't make sense since Price and Josh are fraternal twins. I still don't know why he needed it. That wasn't the only problem that Josh had. Price started nursing immediately. Josh had a hard time latching on, and had a very hard time gaining weight... in fact, he didn't get back to his birth weight until he was 5 weeks old.
In spite of those problems, we were released from the hospital the day after the boys were born. Tim had to go to the store and buy another car seat, so that they would let us take the babies home. We came back to Mom and Dad's for a week or so... enough time to settle in, have a lot of help, and have a baby shower. We then came back to Manila, and were greeted with much love and excitement. There could have been no greater place to be while we were so overwhelmed... everyone was so thrilled for us, bringing us dinner (for a month!), washing our dishes, holding babies, bringing presents.... This all made us feel very loved and taken care of, and we fell in love with our new community.
On the first Sunday in March, Tim blessed the boys at church. An amazing number of extended family members came all the way to Manila to witness the event. In the testimony meeting afterward, almost everyone said something about the twins. Even our stake patriarch got up and talked about what a neat thing it would be to watch the boys grow up in the ward. We felt pretty special and loved, if still very dazed and exhausted.
That first year of their life is pretty much a blur now. I spent most of my time on the couch, with the two babies propped up on pillows to nurse at the same time. Rebekah spent much of her time watching videos or playing computer games (remember she wasn't 2 yet). Tim tried to get through his first year teaching school, exhausted and overwhelmed as he was. I had a pretty good case of post-partum depression, but was unwilling/unable to ask for help from anyone. I can remember being very angry at times: "I didn't ask for this. It's too hard. I don't want to do it anymore." But thankfully we all pulled through, and somehow the boys turned 1... and then 2, and 6, and now 11.
Looking back, although I wouldn't want to repeat the experience (and suffered greatly at each of my subsequent pregnancies until that first ultrasound that confirmed ONE baby), I am so grateful for what I learned. I'm still not a stellar example of a mother, but I did learn a lot about organization, patience, and especially love. I learned that I can do really hard things. Most of all, though, I am so grateful for two boys who were definitely meant to be together. They are best friends. I think each of them is the most important person in the other's life. I can't imagine one without the other, and I'm grateful that they are there to support and guide each other. They drive me crazy, they drive their siblings crazy, and they are very much 11 year old boys, but I love them.
2 comments:
I remember calling you some time after I knew your baby would have arrived to see how you were doing. I heard baby noises in the background and I said, "Oh, I hear the baby." You said, "Actually, you hear two." I remember being stunned and amazed.
I can't imagine any more overwhelming news than this. It's really amazing and I tell people your story all the time, especially mothers of twins. They seem to appreciate it the most.
I remember my mom/your grandma calling & telling me the news...I was so excited for your little family. I remember you being a little overwhelmed at the blessing too. I'm glad you have them here together!
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